Consistency Matters

All decent pubs have two types of customers: passing trade and regulars. To a regular his or her pub is 'the local'. It is a symbiotic relationship. You go there, know the staff and other regulars, and one or two of the passing trade. But most importantly, you know when you can go there: when it's open.

Obviously hard-bitten regular pub-goers, like your columnist here, go there maybe too often though (unless we are being obnoxious - which is not, of course, to be ruled out) the publican should appreciate that regular contrition to his kitty. And sometimes, maybe even more than sometimes, we linger longer than appreciated over that final pint. BUT, and it is a big 'but' we know - or think we know - when we can order that final pint.

Since the change in the licensing laws, and the ludicrous Daily Mail teetotaller/glass-of-claret-in-front-of-the-telly-classes hysteria over supposed 24-hour opening, when in fact most pubs in London (if not in the more liberal provinces) still close at 11.00 or 12.00, many licensees have adopted a more erratic attitude to opening times. They open when they want, and close when they want.

I can't fault that. BUT (that big little word again) the customer - and in particular the regular - needs to know when that is. To say, 'it's a slow night, there aren't many people out, and I fancy an early bath' is a kick in the teeth to your regular. who expects to be able to pop in for that last comforting nightcap. And remember, in the dark days of January, when the partygoers have faded for the month, WE are the people who pay your electricity and gas bills.

I have - you can probably tell - had this experience with a couple of pubs recently, both in London and the provinces. In one I have found a solution: another local. I still prefer the old one, but I can no longer be sure of its opening times! And I can't be bothered with that. In the other case, I have not yet come to that dire decision, but much as I love it, it's getting there. The other night it was closed at 10.45! While the usually early-closing pub around the corner was still happily pouring pints. I eventually ended up in a third which served until midnight, which is what I had expected from the first.

Landlords, we don't want to blackmail you. It's your decision. All we - the humble regular punter - ask is that you publish opening hours and stick to them. Don't let the staff bunk off if they can't be arsed to stay on for their full working hours. I know everyone wants to go home early, but that's not how you do business. It's supposed to be a contract between two parties: supplier and consumer.

Imagine if your television stopped working after 9 months and you took it back to the shop and they said, 'Sorry, mate, we've decided to cut the warranty period to 8 months today!!! It was 12 months yesterday but no-one came in make a claim so we've decided to reduce it.'

In my local in Munich - yes I have one there too - they close early on Monday but on all other nights will happily serve anyone who walks in right up until the last minute (0130), because that is when they are open until. It says so on the door. All we ask for is consistency. Or a more reliable local.